Singleness (part 4)

Welcome to the final part of our Singleness journey. This article will be particularly short because I don’t want to step into the dating pool. I don’t like combining topics for the sake of the compartmentalization in my own mind. So, let’s dive in so that we can be ready for the upcoming dating portion.

Step four: dEpending on god

We all are well aware of the importance of depending on God, because He’s the one who supplies our needs. So, how does this connect to being single? Because being single is all about our commitment to God through prayer (step one), through our focusing on our calling (step two), and finally through our fulfillment of our calling (step three). Being committed to God means that there’s nothing else more important than Him, and it also means that He is your fulfiller.

Fulfillment is what every lonely person on earth seeks. Being single doesn’t mean you’re alone. We know that God will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb 13:5). However, when we look at the world, and allow ourselves to have coveting eyes, we begin to feel lonely in our singleness. However, the root of that loneliness is not unhappiness, that’s only a symptom. It’s not anger or confusion, or even low self esteem. The root of loneliness is the lack of fulfillment. The only way to be fulfilled is through Christ Jesus.

Love Yourself God


Everyone is always so quickly to holler, “love yourself”, when someone says they’re lonely. However, you cannot love yourself out of the dark hole of loneliness or typically, the depression that follows the loneliness. Only the love of God can get us out of that pit.

So Beanie, why are you so sure that fulfillment is the opposite of loneliness?

I’m glad you asked!

First let me mention that I’ve been there. I’ve been lonely, and depressed. Not suicidal, just down trotted that everyone around me seems to be living on fast forward while me, the child of God, is not even living in the present. I’m somewhere making up for my past sins and trying to get my life on track. So yeah… I’ve been there.

I am my own case study. My own loneliness has taught me that God is right there, and that when you are abiding in Him, and He abides in you, there’s no room for loneliness. It really ties back to everything we’ve gone over, which is why God planned these blogs out. We said in part one that part of the reason why Believers are single is because we are not focused on God. That’s the absolute truth. When we are not focused on God, we are not praying and living out our calling. Which then means we are not being fulfilled by God. We were created for His purpose, to glorify His name.

That’s why God is the only one who can give us peace. Peace comes from following the plans of God. When you do the Father’s will, according to His Word, through His Son, Jesus, and with the instruction of the Holy Spirit, no matter what happens, you will have peace. No matter how bad it gets, you will have peace. Why? Because we are living out the will of God. We are living out our purpose designated by God. Which just means, He’s going to get the glory, so we can rest and depend on God to see these problems through.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago

Ephesians 2:10

At Your Service!

Remember when we talked about servitude? Serving others in the Body of Christ will bring you fulfillment. We have been compared to many things in the Bible, however, my favorite comparison of the Children of God lie in two examples:

O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.

Jeremiah 18:6

 Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. 

2 Timothy 2:20

These examples are imperative for this blog. A vase serves a purpose of holding flowers, or water, or to be used for decoration. Dishes, plates, bowls, these are used as a means of holding food or water, or whatever. But each one, a vase and a dish, are serving instruments, or whatever vessels are made by the potter or are shelved in the great house. Just remember: a serving instrument cannot fulfill it’s use until it is used to serve. If we do not allow God to use us, we cannot serve the Kingdom, and thus, we will never be fulfilled.

Final Words

I told you this one would be short, and that’s because dependency on God allows us to give Him our total focus and commitment. We depend on Him to fulfill our needs in every aspect. Not just monetarily, but also emotionally. Our fulfillment rests in us living out our purpose for God, serving the Kingdom. God serves us daily, we must serve Him.

So, how do we live single?

Follow the steps from parts one through four!

We pray often, we focus on our calling and living that out, and we submit to God, depending totally on him for our fulfillment. Once we stop looking at ourselves as lonely people with no one to love us, when we stop looking at the world, we’ll start living the single life. And it’s totally amazing.

Now, this’ll wrap up the singleness portion of this journey to marriage. In the coming weeks, we’ll finally get into the dating pool, and get back to Adam and Eve. Get ready for these next bit of the journey. Dating and marriage are my favorite parts! We’ll explore some embarrassing things (like kissing, and holding hands…ooo!) and we’ll discuss mature things (like sex, porn, and masturbation). But we’ll also be hitting things people don’t like to discuss (roles in a marriage-if they even exist, modesty-for women and men).

We are about to embark on the next part of the journey, which is dating. I’ll be sure to tie dating into singleness to make things clear as we move forward!

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun scorched land.

Psalm 68:5-6

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