Singleness (part 1)

This is the beginning of a new chapter for the young couple featured in the picture above. All the love and affection one could ask for, the happiness and joy. Every single bad thing before that moment has ebbed away as this bride and groom become one. Most of us want this, many of us have it, some won’t admit to wanting it, and others are waiting for it. But what is the “it” everyone’s waiting on? Marriage? Yes, in a sense, but what is marriage the product of? Love.

It = Love

That’s right, the ‘it’ is love. So now that’s established, I bet you’re wondering if I’m going to tell you how to get it, right? Wrong. I’m going to tell you why you think you don’t already have it, and why there’s an entire generation of single believers searching for love. I could make this blog post literally three sentences, but for the sake of understanding, I’ll give you what I’ve got.

Look at these cats, modelisque right? I love this picture, not just because the woman looks so stunning, but because her boyfriend (or husband?) is right beside her smiling ear to ear. They’re happy, they’re in love, they’ve got the ‘it’. Why does is seem like everyone’s got the ‘it’ except for you?

“Love seems so easy for everyone else.”

That’s your first clue. If everyone in the world is in love, then something’s definitely wrong.

“But why?”

Because every good and perfect gift comes from above, and love is good, so there’s no way that anyone who is an unbeliever has fallen in love. They’re in lust, or some fragmented version of what love really is.

“Well that’s kind of harsh.”

Well it’s also the truth. In this order, God gave us three gifts: Breath (life), Jesus (salvation), and the Holy Spirit (guidance). Of course each gift has it’s own sub gifts (ie the gifts of Spirit). However, each one of these gifts were given to us out of one thing, love. Love belongs to God. It’s why He gave us Jesus, the ultimate gift. So when it seems like all the unsaved are getting it right, and falling in love, and getting married, remember that love is a gift from God. And, as His child, you will receive it… or rather, you already have it.

Love Has Gone Missing for the Church

We’re all single, right? An entire generation of Believers are single, peppered with some older adults who are single as well. But why? I’ve got the answer, it’s a simple one, but I’ll tell you how I got this answer.

Step One: Prayer

That’s right, I prayed.

 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

James 1:5

For years, I’ve been single. And it didn’t really bother me until all my (unsaved) friends started getting boyfriends. That’s when I thought something was wrong with me. How in the world was God blessing all my unsaved friends and not me? But then I realized He wasn’t. Every one of my friends had picked their own boyfriend, never asking God if the person they were interested in was the man God picked out for them. So, I realized, it wasn’t that my friends were blessed, it was that I was in a waiting period. I was doing the righteous thing, waiting on a spouse chosen by God for me.

But then, I kept waiting… And it was not cool initially. However, in the waiting room, I realized something else: every other believer my age was waiting for a spouse too. So, I wasn’t a ‘special’ case, and I wasn’t being punished. Phew!

Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

1 Peter 5:9

Alright, raise your hand if you thought this verse was only talking about persecution and bad things… yeah, me too. By the time I realized the power in this scripture, I was years into my singlehood, and had given up on getting married (twice–officially). However, the Word of God really is sharp, fast, powerful. This scripture divided that bitterness from me. It unfastened the yoke around my neck, took the blinders off and helped me to see, and understand spiritually that I wasn’t the only one waiting.

Step 2: Understanding the Why

So, why were we all waiting? We just went through the realization that we’re all waiting, but the question of why still hung in the air.

One day, in my shower, when I’d gotten over myself, and just accepted God’s will (again, because this was like an every two week thing for me. Giving up, then accepting God’s will, then giving up again… I know I’m not the only one!!), He spoke to me, very clearly, and He answered the why.

Focus, that’s what it came down too. Who or what are you focused on?

So, you’re telling me, that an entire generation of people are not married because they’re not focused on God? Yes, that is absolutely what I’m saying.

Our focus was not on God, we were busy looking at the world around us. We have been watching others fall in love, wishing it was us. Thinking we’re not loved, and ultimately forsaken the love of God. We think we’re single, we think we’re alone, but we’re not. In fact, a single person depends on no one but God. A married person depends on God and their spouse, so naturally (Biblically) their attention is divided.

Ok Bean, you’re stretching this.

I’m totally not. We are single right now, because our focus is not on God, and if you’re not focused on God, you’re not following His will for your life, at least not wholeheartedly…

Final Words

This is only part one, next week (or the following, I’m busy with a new assignment I’ll be blogging about soon!!), I’ll bring you guys part two. That will go over more steps, touching on how to walk in God’s will for our life, and where that is scripturally. This entire series was planned out by God, to help us understand get spiritually prepared for marriage. God wants to bless us, and He will not with hold any good thing from us.

So, if you really want to get married, I suggest you strap in, because we’re going for a good ride.

2 responses to “Singleness (part 1)”

  1. […] In part one, we found out that the ‘It’ everyone’s looking for (which is definitely not Penny Wise), is Love. Then we posed a question that really ensembles singleness for Believers: where has love gone for the Church? We found the answer; we aren’t focused on God, (which was revealed in step two), and went through the first two steps to answer the posed question. In all actuality, step one told us how I got the answer to the singleness in the Church question, and step two revealed the answer. Really, it’s not until step three (part two of the series) that we begin to figure out how to deal with this singleness and staying focused on God. […]

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